One Fine Day
by PhantomoftheKitty
Summary: my first story! its about several random things that happen to the crew of the enterprise. please R and R! CHAPTER 6 UP NOW!
1. the hat

The Really Strange Story!!!!!  
  
Chapter 1  
The Hat  
  
Spock walked quickly down the hall. He heard there was as party in rec room 3. It was, after all, Christmas. As soon as he walked into the room, his hat fell off  
  
"Fascinating." Said Spock, as he had never worn a top hat before, especially one that was 2 feet tall. "I have never worn a top hat before, especially one that is 2 feet tall. And I most certainly wasn't wearing one before I came in. I have no recollection of how the hat came to be on my head."  
  
Spock thought about it for a while, and then decided that it was logical that someone had placed the hat on his head right before he came in, thus causing it to fall off when it hit the top of the door. This was reasonable, thought Spock, and he entered the party, where he then sat down and had a glass of water.  
  
A few minutes later, Chekov bounced into the room. Why he bounced I do not know. He just did. Of course, his hat fell off  
  
"Ah, a hat!" said Chekov, "A Russian invention, of course! Although I have never seen one that is two feet tall. and I wasn't wearing a hat before I came in. it is possible that someone put it on my head before I came in. although I cannot see how they would get it on my head when I was bouncing. why was I bouncing anyway? I don't usually bounce."  
  
Chekov went to the nearest table and sat down, completely and utterly confused.  
  
A few minutes later, McCoy walked in to the room. His hat fell off. McCoy stared at it for a moment, as it was two feet tall, but did not give it much thought, as it was probably a prank played by someone who wanted to see him stare at the hat. He sat down at the nearest table and got a drink.  
  
A few minutes later, captain Kirk flew- "Whoa!!! Hold on!!!" shouted captain Kirk, stopping in mid-flight. "I have never flown before, why now?! What if I don't want to fly!" he said  
  
" Yeah!" Cut in Chekov angrily, "why can't I fly? I'm Russian for crying out loud!!! I should be the one flying!"  
  
" It is not logical to have Captain Kirk fly," Spock said calmly, as if he were talking about the weather outside. "He has never flown before, as he said."  
  
"And why are you talking about the weather?" Asked McCoy. "There is no weather. We're in space! Space is devoid of weather!"  
  
"Actually, it is not devoid of all weather." Said Spock, as he launched into an explanation of solar flares, nebulae, and everything else that was in the universe. The author decide that this was a good time to stop the chapter, as everyone was falling asleep, and no one wants to read about that, and Spock was droning on and on, and no one wants to read about that, so the author quietly left and stopped writing.  
  
END  
  
(A/N: was that really really awful? Kinda good? Strangely humorous? Should I continue? I'm thinking the next one, like a giant moth species invades. Is that a really stupid idea? Review!) 


	2. moth!

Disclaimer: I forgot to do this in the first one. I don't own star trek, I just reeeeaaaaally like it  
  
The Really Strange Story!!!!!  
  
Chapter Two  
Moth!!!!!!!  
  
Spock was on the bridge. The Enterprise had just received a distress call from a cargo ship near the Horsehead nebula. It was a very bad time for anyone to be acting strangely.  
  
" Fascinating" said Spock. He was staring at a light flashing across the bridge.  
  
"What is it, Spock?" asked Kirk.  
  
"The light." Said Spock, "It is quite alluring."  
  
Spock got up and walked over to the light, obviously mesmerized by it.  
  
"Riiiight," Said Kirk.  
  
Spock then began to wave his arms about wildly, running around in circles. He finally slumped down onto the floor, gasping for breath. " The attempted flight *gasp* did not work *pant, pant*." Spock said, clearly insane. " It is not logical. I should have been able to fly."  
  
"Spock, are you alright?" asked Captain Kirk, clearly concerned.  
  
"Why yes, Captain. I am in perfect health. I just cannot fly."  
  
"And why would you be able to fly, may I ask?"  
  
"It is logical that I would be able to fly, Captain, as I am a moth."  
  
(A/N: dun dun.)  
  
"You are a WHAT??!!!"  
  
"A moth, Captain. Surely you were aware of that." said Spock calmly, as if nothing had happened that was out of the ordinary.  
  
"Last time I checked, Spock, you were a Vulcan," Said Kirk cautiously.  
  
"Of course, Captain, I am a Vulcan moth  
  
"And I'm sure that is completely logical"  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
"Spock?"  
  
"Yes, Captain?"  
  
"Go down to sick bay and have doctor McCoy check you out."  
  
"I don't see why, but okay."  
  
And with that, Spock left.  
  
* * *  
One Hour Later  
  
"Well, Jim, I'm afraid Spock has Automeria," Said Doctor McCoy after examining S-pock.  
  
"And that would be.?" said Kirk  
  
"Moth disease, Jim. He thinks he's a moth. He is a moth, actually. He has the genes of a moth fused into his genes. God knows how that happened, but it did."  
  
"Is there a cure?" Asked Kirk.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And that would be.?"  
  
"We have to spray him with insecticide everyday, to kill the moth. Unfortunately, it can be very tricky, as too little will have no effect, and too much could kill him as well as the moth. Unfortunately, I will have to find out how much to use, since his being a Vulcan could affect the amount of insecticide I should give him."  
  
"You have to spray him with insecticide."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh. I guess that's okay."  
  
Spock, however, was not too pleased.  
  
"But doctor, as I am a moth, it is only logical that it will kill me."  
  
"No." said McCoy. "It will only kill the moth side of you."  
  
"I am all moth. There is no other 'side' to me," said Spock calmly, as if he were talking about the-  
  
"DON'T start with the weather again!!" shouted McCoy at the author.  
  
"Ok" the author said meekly.  
  
"Anyway," said doctor McCoy " it will not kill you, it will only make you better."  
  
"That is not logical, Doctor." Said Spock  
  
"Trust me."  
  
And Spock did.  
  
Unfortunately, the treatment wasn't strong enough, because the next day.  
  
(In the mess hall) "Spock!" said Captain Kirk  
  
Spock tore his eyes away from the light on the far wall "what is it, Jim?"  
  
"Spock, you've got."  
  
"I have what?"  
  
"You've got WINGS!!!"  
  
"I have always had wings, Jim"  
  
"Ummmm."  
  
"What is it"?  
  
"You have antennae now, too"  
  
"I am a moth. It is logical to assume that I would have antennae as well as wings."  
  
"For the last time Spock, you are not a moth!"  
  
"Simply saying something will not make it so." Said Spock, and that was that.  
  
* * *  
The Next Day  
  
Spock took his treatment like usual in the morning, and it seemed to calm him down a bit but unfortunately, he stank  
  
"Ugh!" said Captain Kirk, his eyes watering "Spock, what is that smell?"  
  
"I am simply staking out my territory with the help of pheromones, Captain."  
  
"Oh, and that's not a problem at all." Said Jim sarcastically  
  
"Thank you for understanding, Captain." Said Spock, totally missing it  
  
Spock then began to fly make to his quarters, getting many strange looks on the way.  
  
Kirk sighed and sat down  
  
* * *  
  
Later That Day  
  
"It worked!" shouted doctor McCoy happily. "A complete success!"  
  
"What worked?" asked Kirk.  
  
"The treatment! Spock is back to normal! Though that may or may not be a good thing."  
  
"That's great! Can he return to duty?"  
  
"Of course!"  
  
And he did.  
  
Meanwhile, something small and fluttery- a moth- was fly around Chekov's head.  
  
(A/N: I'm probably not going to go on with moths, but it be funny to see a Chekov-moth.)  
  
Thank you, i-am-bug, for pointing out the "error" in the paragraphs. I hadn't realized it, but when I uploaded the story, the paragraphs got messed and ran together. I might have realized it eventually, but it would have been a while. 


	3. EAGLES!

One Fine Day  
  
Chapter 3  
EAGLES!  
  
It was a wonderful day aboard the Enterprise. No distress calls, no red alerts, even Spock and McCoy were getting along okay. The food was delicious, but of course, the weather was not fine at all because there is no weather in space  
  
"it is a wonderful day!" said McCoy happily, eating some soup. "Everything is so calm."  
  
"yes" replied Spock. "the lack of the usual eagles is. pleasant."  
  
"EAGLES!!!??" shjouted McCoy. "WHAT eagles??!! I HATE eagles!!!!!"  
  
"did I say eagles? I meant danger, not eagles. I am unsure as to why I said eagles, not danger." Said Spock.  
  
McCoy ran away screaming, "EAGLES!! EAGLES!! EAGLES." attracting many strange looks  
  
Suddenly he came back holding quite a large bird on his arm, attracting even more strange looks. In fact, the bird was a golden eagle.  
  
"doctor" Spock said "if you hate eagles, why are you holding one on your arm right now?"  
  
"hate? Hate??! HATE??!!!! Hate EAGLES??!!" said doctor McCoy, staring at Spock  
  
"that is what you yourself said a few minutes ago."  
  
"WHY would I hate my Harvey here? I love my Harvey! Yes I do. Ohhhhh, yes I do. Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Awwwwww, you pooped down my back, isn't that cute?" McCoy started talking baby talk to the bird on his shoulder. Spock just stared.  
  
Suddenly, another McCoy came in the door, saw the eagle, and ran away screaming, "EAGLES!! EAGLES!! EAGLES."  
  
Three more McCoy's came in the door just then, one with an aardvark, one with a sea lion, and one with a golden lion tamarin, all on leashes. They all sat down next to the McCoy with the golden eagle.  
  
"what is your eagle named?" asked the one with the tamarin. "my tamarin is named Harold."  
  
" his name is Harvey. What are the other animals named?" said the eagle McCoy.  
  
"my sea lion is Harry."  
  
"do they all have names that begin with 'har?'"  
  
"no, my aardvark is named Bob."  
  
"Bob?" they others all simultaneously asked, even Spock.  
  
'Who names an aardvark "bob"?' McCoy thought. It was unknown which one.  
  
"suddenly, (I know I keep using that word, but it's a good word!!!) two more mccoys walked into the room. They were singing "to-MOR-ow, to-MOR-ow, I LOVE ya to-MOR-ow, you're ONLY a day awaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!" everybody stared at them, because, number one, there were already 3 mccoys in the room, and, because nobody knew McCoy could sing. Unfortunately, there was now the task of finding out where all the mccoys (and animals) were coming from, and which was, so to speak, the "real McCoy."  
  
* * *  
later that day.  
  
McCoy was pacing the halls (yet another McCoy...) he was muttering under his breath.  
  
"if you take 72 and cube it by the triangulation of the square of pi, you get 473648.79."  
  
"actually," said Spock, who just happened to be passing by, "you get 473648.78 repeating to the third paxidecimal, then adding on an extra 3 hundredths for every google triangulated by the cube of 72."  
  
"...."  
  
"oh, and, by the way, did you see any others of yourself recently?"  
  
"try right behind me."  
  
Spock looked behind McCoy. Sure enough, there were at least ten other McCoy's behind him.  
  
"is that all of you?" asked Spock.  
  
"yes." They all answered at once.  
  
"good. This might hurt." Spock threw a very large water balloon at all of them. It exploded, as water balloons often do. But there was smoke. Lots of smoke. When it went away, there was only one McCoy there, and there were no animals of any kind.  
  
"What did you do that for?" asked doctor McCoy. "and where did the water balloon come from?"  
  
both looked at each other and then realized that the author must have given Spock the water balloon, since he didn't have one before, and in fact, had never even seen one. They both shrugged and walked away, and from that day on, there was only one McCoy aboard the Enterprise.  
  
THE END Review!  
  
responses Thank you to all who reviewed.  
  
Broken Infinity-yes, those hats will come back soon, probably next chapter or so.  
  
Tavia- yeah I know lots of people who are mesmerized by light. That's kinda where I got the idea. And your right. "alright" does have a more spockish tone. 


	4. The Return of the Hat

Spock walked onto the bridge of the Enterprise. He looked around. Everyone was wearing a hat. And one in particular looked familiar.  
  
" Where have I seen that hat before?" Spock wondered.  
  
" He fell of your head at the Christmas party, you dope. Man, some people have bad memories." said a voice above him.  
  
Spock looked up, but there was no one there. He felt some thing on his head. It was a hat. Suddenly a voice spoke into his ear again  
  
"Yup, here I am! We have come back!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! You thought we were a joke! But we have come to take over your planet!"  
  
Spock realized he must do something, so he thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought. He couldn't think of anything so he thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought some more. Finally it came to him. These hats were obviously living organisms. He quickly performed a mind-meld with the top hat that had fallen off his head and screamed at it to go away! It went away! Every other hat went away! They all jumped out the window. Don't ask me what window, just a window! And they were never seen again! Hopefully...  
  
End  
  
Hi! 


	5. the dogs

Once upon a time there were two dogs.  
  
Yes, TWO dogs.  
  
One was named Spock.  
  
One was named Captain. This I have already said, but ill say it again. One was named Spock.  
  
Spock ruled the fire hydrant on the end of the street. Captain commanded a star wagon.  
  
One day, Spock met a girl dog. Her name was Christine. Christine loved Spock. You probably think Spock wouldn't love Christine, because he should only care about logic.  
  
HE'S A DOG! OF COURSE HE LOVED HER!  
  
Dogs don't care about logic. They care about food. And dogs of the opposite gender. And food. And fire hydrants. Otherwise they are asleep. Or chasing cats.  
  
So Spock and Christine went off together to . . . ummm . . . howl at the moon. Yeah, they were howling at the moon when Captain came in. he was mad because he had no one to love. And Christine was beautiful. But just then . . . a beautiful girl named lovely alien girl came over. Captain went off with her. And that was the end.  
  
the movie flickered off. every body was staring at the screen. "fascinating." said someone in the audience. it was NOT Spock. Spock was still a dog.  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: wow too short. sum 1, please, give me an idea! PLEASE! and review! 


	6. Car, er, starship insurance

Chapter 6: car. . . er. . . starship insurance  


  


Disclaimer: Its probably a good thing I don't own Startrek....

* * *

Kirk, Chekov, Spock, Sulu, and Uhura all sat on the bridge of the starship Enterprise. Suddenly Spock sat up straight.  
  
"Captain," he said. "I have good news and bad news. First of all, we are being attacked by a hoard of Romulan Warbirds."  
  
Captain Kirk looked worried, but then asked, "then what's the good news?"  
  
Spock brightened (not very noticeably, but he did.) "The good news is that I just saved a bundle by switching my starship insurance to Geico!"  
  
.........  
  
.........  
  
.........  
  
The Romulans attacked and blew up the Enterprise. As every one was flung into space, Captain Kirk was heard to mutter:  
  
"Gonna need that starship insurance now, huh Spock?"  
  
THE END!  
  
Review and I will continue. 


End file.
